Hello Reader,

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As we near the end September, it's the perfect time to explore a topic that plays a significant role in the lives of many people with ADHD and other neurodivergent profiles: demand avoidance. This concept, while often overlooked, can be a major hurdle in our daily lives. With ADHD Awareness Month just around the corner in October, I want to delve deeply into what demand avoidance is, how it differs from executive dysfunction, and why understanding these distinctions is crucial for effective self-management.

Understanding Demand Avoidance

Demand avoidance is a behavior pattern characterized by a strong resistance to everyday demands, whether they are external (e.g., requests from others) or internal (e.g., self-imposed tasks). This resistance often stems from anxiety and a need to maintain a sense of control over one's environment. For individuals with ADHD, autism, or related neurodivergent profiles, demand avoidance can become a significant barrier to productivity and well-being.

A Closer Look at Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA):

Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) is a profile on the autism spectrum where individuals experience an overwhelming need to resist ordinary demands and expectations. This resistance is not simply about being oppositional or defiant; rather, it is a deeply ingrained response rooted in anxiety and a perceived threat to autonomy. Here are some key characteristics of PDA:

• Extremely high levels of anxiety: Individuals with PDA often feel intense anxiety when faced with demands, leading to avoidance behaviors as a coping mechanism.
• Surface sociability: While individuals with PDA may appear sociable, their interactions often serve to manage and control situations to avoid demands.
• Obsessive behavior: There may be a focus on certain interests or activities, which can serve as a form of control or escape from demands.

For those of us without a PDA diagnosis, elements of this behavior can still be present. Even in everyday situations, we might feel our autonomy is being infringed upon, triggering a strong urge to resist.

Great Resource:https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/​

Personal Story: The Corn Incident

Over the summer, I experienced a moment of intense, unexpected anger at a barbecue when I found out that the corn had been pre-buttered. This is such a minor detail and I was so irritated (way out of logical proportion!) Eventually, I decided part of me (maybe my inner toddler) felt it lost autonomy because I hadn't been given a choice about whether I wanted butter on my corn or not—the decision had already been made for me. This reaction wasn’t about the corn or the butter itself, but rather about my underlying need for control. It was a stark reminder of how demand avoidance (in this case politely taking corn) can manifest in seemingly irrational ways, driven by a deep-seated desire to maintain autonomy.

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I'm speaking at a very exciting event tomorrow and it's not too late to sign up:

Executive Function Workshop with Focused.space: https://www.focused.space/unlockyourpotential
September 26 4-5 PM Pacific

Unlock Your Potential: Executive Functioning 101

• 👀Learn about what Executive Function is and why it matters
• 🧠Understand the 5 main parts of Executive Functioning

💆‍♂️ Identify how to "help" vs "hurt" your Executive Function

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There is soooo much more I want to talk about, so I'll be sending a follow up email tomorrow!

Warm regards,
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Amy

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